Why Our To-Do Lists are Way Too Big
Because seriously, who really has this much to do?
I am in a frequent state of overwhelm. Just as often, I feel like a complete and utter failure. One of the biggest determinants of my daily success is tied up in the ridiculous metric of the half-finished to-do list.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand why I allow a bullet point list to determine my self-worth, but damn it, it happens, and the struggle is real.
One of the issues is that I am notorious for biting off more than I can chew. This became even more of an issue after becoming medicated. When I first took my medication, I felt like I had gained superpowers that allowed me to finally do all of the things.
The problem with newfound optimism in being able to focus is that I then signed myself up to do all of the things. My to-do list became marching orders toward certain defeat.
Let’s be real, we’re wildly aware at this point that most organizational tools are created for neurotypical people who do a pretty good job of being successful adults who just need a little nudge. They don’t work for me, no matter how much I want them to.
I have a day planner (of course I do), and it’s pretty and has a page for each day and so much room for all of the things. It’s broken down into hour increments, and I then feel the need to fill every single hour space with something that I must do.
If I get off the schedule by 10am because the thing I planned at 9am took more than the hour I allotted for it, I feel like the whole day is just a loss, and I sit in my chair at my desk wondering why anyone trusts me to do anything. Dark places.
I know I am not alone in this. So many other people who have ADHD feel this need to commit to more than they can do. The reality? No one has that much time or that much need to do on any given day.
Here’s my proposal for how we revamp our to-do lists so we can do crap and feel like actual adults. Let’s underpromise and over-deliver.
Let’s stop the toxic idea that we need to do more. I suggest we do less. We don’t have the time. We don’t have the inclination. And we don’t have the brain capacity for more. More can go pound sand.
I am resolving that our to-do lists have no more than five things on them at any given time. That’s it. Five things. Also, I think that we need to have one of those things be a piece of fruit so low hanging that it runs the risk of falling off the tree if we simply look at it.
I’ve also taken a quick poll of people I know and how they manage their to-do lists. I have found it rather amusing how many people I know start their day with their to-do list but frequently add items to their list that they’ve already done so that they can cross it off immediately. It’s a solid dose of dopamine and accomplishment.
I have spent 40 years of my life expecting too much from myself because I was undiagnosed and didn’t realize I can’t accomplish things in a normal manner. I was the queen of overpromising and underdelivering.
I am cutting myself some slack and focusing on what is important and letting the rest of the noise dissipate. I’ve found that the less I commit to, the more I can feel like what I do means something. Five things. That’s all I got in me.
UPCOMING PRODUCT ALERT: Just in time for us all to lose our minds over goal setting at the New Year (because optimism is a bitch), I am working on a whole slew of printable planning sheets, habit trackers, and an actual to-do list that we’ll use because it won’t hurt our heads! Because I am now obsessed with fixing this issue and doing less.
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